Our future Alien overlords

Let me set the scene for you, then you can tell me how it sounds?

The year is 2037, we never got round to sorting out climate change but that doesn't matter anymore. Something far worse has happened. The Aliens have finally arrived on our small minded, god forsaken, planet earth.

There's nothing seemingly remarkable about these Aliens. In fact, you could quite easily believe that these creatures were a product of this earth same as us. They're bipedal, only their skin is grey and shiny, plus they're much taller than us. We're not quite sure though, if their bodies function in the way ours do because, well you see, we don't understand them. They have their own way of communicating which seems far more sophisticated than ours. We only use ours mouths to speak and sometimes our hands. The Aliens that came for us didn't have mouths like ours. As far as we could understand, with our limited knowledge of the universe, they were all talking telepathically.

Due to our limitations, the Aliens judged us to be plain and stupid, with nothing that could benefit their race. And, after they had made that assessment they would have simply left us alone, had it not been for what they found! And once they saw it, there was no going back, it gave them a fantastic idea. Finally! A use for us humans after all.

The Aliens had found a farm.

And that, my friends, is the day that we humans became meat!

From the Aliens point of view their actions at first seemed reasonable, they were gentle when they rounded us all up. They placed us into enclosed areas with fields and good housing, enough wholesome food to keep us healthy. They cared for us, they understood things we never even had that capacity to comprehend, in truth, we were better off with them as our masters. Their aim was never to cause us harm, and when the time came, when we were needed for food, the plan was to kill us humans humanely. (Or would it be Alien-ely?)

Then, after a short time, something shifted. It was no longer simply about sustenance and survival, the Aliens liked it. They liked the way we tasted. They got greedy. And, naturally, as we did with animals, they started separating us stupid humans into groups. All fertile women were sent off to the milk farms, the children were isolated in nurseries and the vast majority of the males were culled, deemed as a useless waste of resources. Only a few select men, chosen for their genes, were allowed to stay alive in cages to have their semen harvested.

The Aliens, being much more sophisticated than us, already had the means of sex selection when using artificial insemination, meaning that no male humans would be reproduced unnecessarily, which was nice of them.

After being artificially inseminated, and giving birth to human babies, the female humans were hooked up to industrial breast pumps so that their breastmilk could be collected and sold. The babies born as a result were obviously snatched away immediately, the Aliens knew we wouldn't mind. Why would we? It was never a problem for the cows we had done it to, it just made economical sense. Occasionally, the human females would cry, for days on end, but with no way of understanding them the Aliens put that down to human hormones and our primitive animal instincts that caused us to act out in this way.

The females would soon be impregnated again and forget all about the previous new-born.

When the fertile human females were spent they were sent away to the killing house, they’d stand in line watching their friends being killed and carved up, waiting for their turn. They were now meat, like all others.

Some lucky humans, ones with athletic genes weren’t eaten, the Aliens had started to find other uses for us besides food. The athletes would be trained for days on end, doing what they loved of course, all in preparation for some big sporting event. Sometimes the Aliens would make them race and place bets on who would win. The winners were celebrated in Alien culture, held up for their talent. The losers, well, strangely the Aliens don't really talk about what happens to them.

I mean, you can't be mad with any of that really, it's nothing compared to what us humans have been doing to animals on earth for quite a while now. And we've barely even scraped the surface.

If we can justify it, so can the Aliens.